if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize