I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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