His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
