the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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