That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
