I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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