Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
