oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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