therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
