JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
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