And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I forget how to act sober
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
