So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
