so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
