I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
