When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
