i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
