apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
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