Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
