I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
