Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
