I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Ambien. No doubt about it.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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