I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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