He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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