i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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