My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize