It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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