I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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