That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize