uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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