I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
