i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I take back everything I said about communal showers
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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