she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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