he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
