I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
So vagazzling was a success
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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