in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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