Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
