ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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