bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Randomize
