well you can't waste a boner
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
