Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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