my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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