I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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