I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
