What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
