You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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