no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
