I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
How's work?
Spinning.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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