I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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