My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
