He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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