Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
