You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
