Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
only if we run a train.
done.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
