I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
