dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
