Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i dont even know how to be here
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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