She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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