Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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