he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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