You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize