Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
