i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The power of my boobs compel you
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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