I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
