Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
