Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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