Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
