Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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