covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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