i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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