Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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