Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
My bed smells like the plague
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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