last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
The feeling are messing with the penis
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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