Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
