Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Randomize
