And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
