note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
