I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
