Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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