i barfeds in our rink
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
