I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We had to coat check the pizza.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
last night I used snow as a chaser
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize