so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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