had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
